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The ancient Filipinos ordinarily married within their own ranks. This practice was not rigid, however, and intermarriages were possible among the various social classes.

A marriage was usually arranged by the parents as early as infancy of the boy and the girl. Before marriage, the groom gave a dowry, called by the Tagalogs bigay-kaya to the bride’s family. This dowry consisted of gold, land, money, slaves, or anything of value. Aside from the dowry, the groom had to serve the parents of the girl for free.  This service might consist of chopping wood, fetching water, and other manual work asked by the girl’s parents. Other forms of dowry included:

#1. Panghimuyat - a sum of money given to the bride’s mother as the compensation for the sleepless nights she endured while rearing the girl.

#2. Bigay-susu – another sum given to the mother or wet nurse who gave milk to the bride during her infancy.

#3. Himaraw – a sum of money given to the parents of the bride to reimburse them for the cost of bringing her up.

The duration of the service to be rendered and the amount of the dowry were agreed upon by the families of the bride and the groom. This stage of the courtship when the parents of both parties made final arrangement for the marriage was called pamamalae or pamumulungan.

On the day of the wedding, the groom asked a go-between to bring the bride to his home, where the wedding ceremony was to take place. With a spear which the groom gave him, the go-between went to fetch the bride. When he reached the bride’s home he thrust the groom’s spear into the ladder and prayed to the gods to bless the coming marriage. He was then let in and the bride and her folks followed him to the groom’s house.

In the groom’s house, the bride was expected to be shy; thus, she would refuse to go up the ladder. Only a gift from the groom’s father could persuade her to go up into the house. Inside the house, she would also refuse to sit, to smile, to eat, and to drink until more gifts were given to her. This done, the bride and the groom then drank from one cup.

Then an old man announced to the guests that the marriage ceremony would begin. A priestess came, joined the hands of the bride and the groom over a bowl of uncooked rice, and pronounced them man and wife. With a shout, the priestess then tossed the rice to the guests. The guests gave a similar shout, and the wedding ceremony was over.

Marriage ties could not ordinarily be broken, but divorce was sometimes granted. Some of the causes of divorce were:

#1. Adultery on the part of the wife

#2. Desertion on the part of the husband

#3. Cruelty

#4. Childlessness

#5. Insanity

A divorced man and woman could remarry. When this happened, the man gave new dowry to his wife as if it were a new marriage.

Related posts:

1. Marriage is Something Better
2. Marriage is Something Worse
3. Marriage is Something Worse
4. Marriage is a State of Torment
5. The Social Classes of the Ancient Philippine Society